"If Jan Were Here..."

This the the phrase that echoed in my head day in and day out this weekend. I constantly thought about what Jan would do in the situations we found ourselves in over the past few days. Jan got a well deserved and much needed break from Queen Duty this weekend. She was able to hang out with her precious little grandkids. They spent quite a bit of time reading one of my all time favorite children's books, Pete the Cat. If you have little kids in your life. GO BUY THIS BOOK! I guarantee they will love it. It comes with a catchy little musical read along song. You'll be walking around singing, "I love my white shoes, I love my white shoes" all day!

A lot of you are probably wondering who Jan is and why we keep talking about her. Well, let me tell you a little bit about Jan. Jan is one of Nancy's friend's moms (got that?). Over the past year, Jan has swooped in and become a HUGE asset to our family. Jan has accompanied my mom to all of her chemo appointments over the past year. At these appointments you sit and sit and sit. You watch chemo drip into my mom ever so slowly. You try to claim to most comfortable chairs in the chemo room. You try not to be depressed because (despite the beautiful views of Atlanta) it is a pretty overall depressing place. You combat the depressed feelings by talking about families, children, and funny stories. And Jan has tackled this process alongside my mom and dad. I also have to mention that my mom has so many other wonderful friends. Nan Fran took her to every single chemo way back in 2000 when all this shit began. We are so thankful for all of her friends. My mom has such an enormously large group of friends who have done hundreds of small things to make her happy. Childhood friends, College friends, High Point friends, nurse friends, my friend's moms, Nancy's friend's moms...the list is endless. You know who you are, so rather than me thank each and every one of you individually, give yourself a big old hug from all of us and The Queen as our giant thank you :)

Jan always tells my mom that she is looking for volunteer opportunities in the Atlanta area. My mom is quick to tell her that her volunteering is now strictly in the form of helping our family. No shame in saying that we need volunteers in this family. On top of her normal chemo help, Jan and my dad help each other out in many different Queen Jean situations. When my dad goes to doctors appointments, Jan comes along and takes notes and asks questions that we may have overlooked (did I mention that Jan used to be a nurse so she is able to ask A LOT of questions that we would never think of). This allows my dad to focus on my mom and make sure that she is ok. Did I mention that we are SO thankful for Jan? Having a family member who has cancer involves a lot of extra stuff for the family. It is so, so, so, so wonderful that Jan is able to help out. This extra help allows my dad to continue to be able to go handle things at Mike's and get things done around the house. Right now, my dad and Jan take shifts at the hospital. It is so nice that someone can be with The Queen all day without getting burnt out. We are all feeling exhausted after many sleepless nights and long days at the hospital, but having that extra person who also knows the entire medical history is a huge, huge, huge help.

Jan has taught all of us a lot about the process of being in the hospital, dealing with nurses, important questions to ask, etc. She knew we would be shocked with the move from ICU to a regular room. She knew we would be even more shocked with the move from hospital to rehab. Luckily, she anticipated these shocks and prepped us ahead of time. Jan has taught me how to be assertive in medical situations (something The Queen would be very appreciative of us learning). It is amazing how you really NEED to have someone who is an advocate for patients when they are in the hospital. So, did my dad and I demand an X-Ray or visit from the Doctor at 7PM on a Saturday night when we were at Rehab? Yes we did. And we were successful. I attribute a large portion of this success and newfound assertive-ness to Jan. Another large part of it obviously also comes from the fact that this is our mom and wife and we will all do whatever we need to do to make sure things are taken care of.

Jan always says, "just kick me out when you need family time." We have yet to kick her out of any situation because she is a part of our family. Ask any of the 3 aunts that have been to visit or my grandmother and I think they would all unanimously agree with that statement. Nancy accidentally referred to her as "Aunt Jan" when talking to someone, but I can't think of a more perfect title for her (aside from Queen Angel, of course).

So Jan, THANK YOU from every single one of us. This blog post is just a teeny tiny way for me to express our gratitude for everything you've done. I just had to brag on you. All 64 of the blog's followers now know what we've known all along. You are a true Angel and we can't imagine going through this process without you.

Now if only you could write this volunteering off as a tax donation.....

On behalf of ALL of us, we love you!